1. A robot may not injure a human being or,
through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey
orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with
the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such
protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law

.

Oh, Isaac... what have they gone and done now? Blizzard Entertainment, you know, the World of Warcraft guys, have recently sued bot maker, Michael Donnelly. Donnelly's bot, Glider, apparently plays the game for you: grinding, leveling, gathering.

Donnelly's bot goes for around 25 bucks a pop. Add in your 15 bucks a month subscription fee, and you level your way into MMORPG renown without ever actually having to touch your computer again.

.

Okay, the way the Klown sees it, anyone so damn lazy as to require Donnelly's software is should pretty much have their Blizzard accounts banned for a proportional amount of time that Donnelly's software has been running (read your damn EULA folks).

.

Hmmm. Let's see, if you ran Donnelly's software for any grinding under level 20 (of the 70 levels currently available), you are far too much of an idiot to really understand that you are being punished. So, you get the shortbus-freepass. Plus, without out you actually "piloting" your toon, I didn't have to listen to you beg for gold in Org, blather on about Chuck Norris in Barren's chat, or constantly challenge me to duels with your level 9 rogue.

.

Levels 21 through 39. I am going to ask for a little slap on the wrist. Three day banishment for every level achieved. Why and arbitrary three days per level? Well, first it's a magic number; magic is what your mage should have been learning while you were doing whatever it is you were doing instead of playing the game. Second, just like the Highway Patrol that "let's you off with a warning" and writes the ticket for only five miles over the limit when you were easily doing twelve, these are my arbitrary rules. Now buckle up and head back out on the highway.

.

Level 40. Mount level. The level where you no longer walk from village to village. Thunder Bluff no longer seems so remote. If you bot your way from 39 to 40, your account will not be banned, but you will be forced to go on foot until you hit 70. Yup, can't even use the flight paths, you lazy asses. Just be happy that the zeppelins are still available; do you know how long a swim it is from Ratchet to Booty Bay? Oh, and level 41 Taurens of any class will get to taunt, jeer, and cajole you as they ride by on their legitimately obtained Kodos as you walk from Felwood to Thousand Needles.

.

If Donnelly's software takes you from 41 to 59. One month ban per. See the arbitrary explanation above...and just be happy that I am not the "speed trap sherriff" of some li'l podunk town in the middle of nowhere.

.

60....that once, nearly unattainable goal...the end of the road, now a mere layover until you get some "phat lootz." Your punishment is simple. You can play all you want, but the only experience you will now get is running noobs through RFC at the same XP/kill that they receive. You should hit 61 somewhere around 2035 now.

.

61-69. Really? You actually bought the expansion and Donnelly's cheat? Banned for life...move along. I hear EverQuest II is looking for people.

.

70. Well, if you weren't completely tossed to the curb by violating the EULA in levels 61-69, then you get to keep your account and play all you want. You did it! You hit the max level. For now. When Wrath of the Lich King comes out, however, you will gain XP at 1/1000 of everyone else and your account will be flagged as an "anti-collector's edition boxed set." Any purple chestpieces that drop for you now, or guild tabard (what the hell guild would have you?) that you wear from this point forward will have a scarlet letter emblazoned on it. A giant, red, glowing "N" for noob. And you have to accept every duel challenge from level 8 rogues and you will lose.

Oh, and as far as Donnelly goes...100,000 units at 25 bucks a pop? Good job! You only have to endure the pain of every internet spambot sending you Viagra and other penis related offers to whatever account you create, and every telemarketing autodialer calling you with real estate deals, until...well, forever.

Muffin Man

I have a good friend who is all about toast. Maybe you have seen his website. It is, among many things, a fun place to hang out. I am not anti-toast. I am anti-cupcake. If you are pro-cupcake, then no muffins for you. I am kind of so-so on the whole bagel thing. Muffins. Muffins. Muffins.

The Guild...even if you don't WOW, still damn funny...

Okay, I have to admit, I am a WoW-er... that's like the first of twelve steps, I know...but, for now I am going to leave it at that. (Though, even amongst WoW-ers, there are still those striving to hit level 70 on one toon...I have two, and working on a third...yes, my skin is turning a pasty white...except of course for my fingertips, which are an unatural Cheetohs cheesy orange...)

Start at the bottom of these episodes and work your way back to the top. If you play World of Warcraft, you will easily identify the stereotypes. If you don't play...well, then, that is just plain sad...sad, I say.

Zug zug.

Funny and then the not so funny....

MySpace Exclusive: Superhero Movie

Too pretty to fly? - Tampa Bays Local News

Probably has absolutely nothing to do with them getting on the plane with a completely lousy attitude and expecting more simply because they are "too pretty to fly."

I don't know the whole story.  Many of the passengers on the plane don't even know the whole story.  Hell, even the two of them probably don't know the whole story. 

But this whole idea that they were discriminated against because they are "too pretty?" 

Once again, I blame MTV and a generation of empty headed teens (and by teens I mean well into the mid to late twenties) for this complete load of crap.

Bullshit incidents like this lessen legitimate claims of prejudice.  Ladies, please read your history...Rosa Parks, white/black drinking fountains, segregated lunch counters, Martin Luther King. . . and on and on and on....

Just from a quick glean of the story: you were told to wait for a drink until your row was being served...did you expect to be served first because you are "too pretty?"

Vulgarities exchanged between the guy who found himself stuck in an airplane toilet for "15 minutes."  Did it occur to you that no one really wants to spend anytime in there?  Did you knock once? Twice? Thrice? a little too aggressively?  Do you like to be disturbed when you either can't quite pinch one off or grunt and regret your way past a poorly conceived Taco Bell meal?

Too pretty to fly? 

Give too petty a shot.  Or get a private jet like Paris Hilton.

Too pretty to fly? - Tampa Bays Local News

Soon to be working a drive-thru window at a Jack in the Box near you...

Yeah, like I am the ONLY one...

C'mon...you wanted to do it too.

Someday...even he will reproduce....

and note...so will the younger one. Yes. Reproduce. Create more of their own kind. The kind that spell onomatopoeic words wrong. Seriously...it's spelled the way it sounds. That's the whole point.



Hell...the embed, doesn't do the William Saffire butchering justice...and I am too damn drunk to figure out the damn link at the moment, so just do yourself a favor, go directly to youtube.com and search for "Bug Spalt." Either you get the video that I am talking about or Jeff Foxworthy will come clean your carpet. Either way...hilarity ensues.

I dunno....kill it....

God Games....Yes, they are talking to you....

Babies love clowns

Wow...that long....

Looking back, has it really been that long since I became disillusioned and kicked it all into the fire for the night?

Hmm...guess so.

Tuesday I get to go to the polls and cast a vote for Obama....

Perhaps, maybe? Hope?

Stay tuned.

Letter from Bush

From: GEORGE W. BUSH
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington , DC 20520
EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE
LAW ENFORCEMENT I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine , in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.

MILITARY I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam

COLLEGE I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.
I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.

With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry, including Enron CEO Ken Lay, I was elected governor of Texas

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union.

During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.

With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida , and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.

I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market.

In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history.

My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, had a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.

I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.

My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron.

My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.

I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution.

More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.

I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history.

I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government.

I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.

I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S . "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).

I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.

I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.

I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind.

I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation.

I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families-in-wartime.

In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.

I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.

I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden [sic] to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.

All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy an d unavailable for public view.

All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

I am a member of the Republican Party.
PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN THE 2006 MIDTERM ELECTIONS. PLEASE SEND THIS TO EVERY VOTER YOU KNOW.

A moment of silence. Kind of ironic, eh?

This helps. A little. 

Currently wasting time on this one. One of the last great games of the PS2 generation. Prince of Persia+++. Camera angles get a bit wonky from time to time, making some of the "puzzles" a little bit difficult to "solve." And as much as I hate to admit it, but this game almost makes you feel as if you are learning a little bit. Okay, it is Sony's version of Greek mythology, but still and all, as the gladiator makes his way through Hydras, Minotaurs, and the Gods themselves, the least of your worries is how closely any of the levels matches Edith Wharton's take on the Greek bedtime stories. Hack and slash your way through this one for under twenty rupees, shekels, or whatever the hell currency Plato bought his cappuccino with. 

If I had a hammer....

And now we know why Dickies are so popular

Just for the hell of it. 

No. I have no clue either, but it's tradition...

Really, I wouldn't risk your eternal soul for this one.

Seriously...if you know what is good for you...turn around...do not click, here or here.

Uh, yeah...but I already knew the directions.

Baseball=evil. Inside Edition+Interview with Tom Cruise=Good Clean Christian Living.

Puns are bad. Lies are bad. The nut doesn't fall far from the tree. Mixed metaphors will get you sent to hell.

Hirohito, Hitler and Taxes...could Saddam be far behind?

Not as funny as the other guy and taxes....

Itemized Death and Taxes

Death and Taxes...hmmmmm....

oh yeah, like I am the only one... 

Obvious...but really? They don't actually wear these, do they? 

Why is it so damn sexy when women wear men's ties? 

Another simple truth: The world is filled with a shitload of people who are less intelligent than you or I, but they are a whole lot more powerful. Stupidity is rewarded. Intelligence is recognized. And then killed on sight. 

Or when a woman wears a man's shirt?

It's a tie!

or This?

This?

Buy it used if you have to. Get a damn Xbox if you don't already own one (uh, with the 360 out, you can now qualify for retro cool)...anyhow, one of the latest games spinning in the the ol' Gates-game system...pretty impressive. Creepy game. Intuitive controls. Fucking A++ soundtrack (Badalamenti)....Playing the blues restores sanity...say no more. 2 hours in and already scared goofy three times. Spoiler: Be careful what you look for in mirrors. If there is any minus on this game...and this is a big ass one Xboxers, so listen up, the autosave feature can be disabled. Why? Who the hell knows? At the four hour point...and the scotch saturation juncture, time to go to bed....progress not saved? Damn. Good news is, that Indigo Prophecy offers enough branching storylines...enough choices to change the outcome, that this game has an above average replay value. I paid $32.99 used....look for the price on used to come down below twenty bucks in the next month or two, and jump on this one. Seriously. Creepier moments than that kid in Black and White who haunts your ass for not saving him from drowning (Yes...you get your opportunity (SPOILER) to do the same here).