Friday, November 07, 2008
Lost: Season 42
Friday, October 24, 2008
Cruel Black Doves
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Re-Fabled
Monday, October 20, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Too much of a good thing...
The final result was a little too salty (even after adding two whole potatos during the simmer), but still quite tasty.
Sadly, though, I do not think that I will be able to consume the entire batch (even in a month), without causing irreparable damage to myself or to my appreciation of William Friedkin movies.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Monday, October 06, 2008
MSG..or...Why does my head feel like it is going to go all Vesuvius?
At least the egg rolls were good.
Sunday, October 05, 2008
Friday, October 03, 2008
Give me blogspot, or give me death! Or a Peanut Buster Parfait...I like those, too.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
More to follow...just saying...
Friday, June 06, 2008
Friday, May 23, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Greetings from Hyboria
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Ten-ish days
Random
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
4000
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Impact!
Nah. Not my real X-ray, but you get the point anyhow. Somehow, my damn wisdom teeth waited until way, way, waaaaay late in life to start fucking around. So, this week, I tripped off to the dentist to bitch a bit about tooth and jaw pain, only to be told that there was nothing he could do about it, and then the dreaded "consult" came. Off to the oral surgeon, I did trundle.
Not that I expected it to be fantastic news, but jumping giraffes on pogo-sticks, I sure as hell wasn't prepared for the gloom and a doom that came next. First of all, it is really difficult to take anybody seriously when they are wearing one of those coal miner's set ups in broad daylight. I was bit fixated on that, when he started running down the numbers. One in ten chance of this going bad; one in five chance of that going bad. "You smoke? Well, just figure that this, this, and this is really going to jack you up..."
Oh yeah, and I am pretty much guaranteed nerve damage. At least bruising will cause me to lose sensation in my lower lip for six months. Maybe permanently. Especially on the right side, where it seems the roots have wrapped around the nerve.
So, shit.
On a lighter note, I do love the Vicodin.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Everything tastes better...
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Hey Kids! Fiction!
The ink speaks to me. It tells me that I will not see another sunset. The ink tells me that if I am to save myself, I must save the boy first. It says to me as clear as midway barker on a spring afternoon that I must obey K’s every command. The ink lies as much as it tells the truth.
The ink and I are the same, and I cannot trust one more than the other.— May 4th
From the Journals of Squish the Klown
The cow says...
Later that week, after the results of my spanking had somewhat subsided, my mom attended the semi-annual parent/teacher conference and Mrs. Clancy began her assessment of my progress on the whole tying the shoes, not eating the paste, counting to 12 sort of work we had been doing. My mom quickly cut to the chase, much quicker than I am obviously capable of, and asked her about this whole cow mythos that I had concocted. Mrs. Clancy simply looked at her and said, "Well, he's obviously bored with the whole cookies and milk thing, and wanted to tell you something truly impressive about what we do here."
And now, every Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthday, or Arbor Day, whenever we get together to bbq or deep fry a turkey, someone has to bring up:
"The Cow Story."
Monday, April 14, 2008
Welcome to the temple of the $
Sometimes I go and buy things I don't really want, and really, really don't need, because I am a proud American.
Birthplace of the idea for Squish the Klown. Not for nothing, don't buy any balloons there. The place is festooned with the phony Clown types (I think the proceeds from all balloon sales support some cult or something).
oh yeah! I forgot...
Sure, they aren't around much there anymore...but just a hop skip and jump down the road...Minneapolis. One hour away. And of course I go there ALL the time.
Not to be outdone...
Over at hongkongcavalier, Chris is pointing out how cool San Francisco is, here at the complex we are tooting are own horn regarding the splendor of Wisconsin.
On a serious note, I am glad to see that he and Nancy made it home. Now if I can just figure out a way to extract myself from this cheese trap.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
is there any reason not to love these guys?
Obviously, the Klown loves to get his boogie on. Obviously.
Friday, April 11, 2008
What would life be like without...
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Does that really count?
Earlier this year, Stormy Daniels won the 2008 AVN Award for Crossover Star of the year. This was the same awards ceremony that Jenna Jameson, sadly, announced her retirement from the hardcore industry (in front of the camera).
Stormy's crossover credits include:
1) well, herself...in a porn video being watched by the 40-Year-Old-Virgin
2) a lap dancer in the movie Knocked Up
3) a seductress stripper in FX's Dirt
4) and a pole dancer in Maroon 5's "Wake up call" video
What's the difference between a lap dancer and a pole dancer you might ask? About 100 bucks.
SFX insert rimshot here
Crossed over? Yikes. I don't think psychic flim-flam man John Edward could even fake his way through that cross over.
It's great that Stormy found some work doing mainstream films (whatever the hell those are these days: Read Crooked Little Vein for a bit better explanation on this phenomenon).
I am going out on a limb here and saying that crossing over would require, hmm...acting? Meryl Streep worthy shit...know what I mean?
Now, crossing over in the other direction, well, that's a back massager of a different utility. Chloë Sevigny's bj in the Brown Bunny proves that I will sit through an art flick, no matter how boring, how pretentious, or self indulgent just to say..."holy shit! did she really just do that?!" And yes, yes she did.
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Proving yet again, I will buy anything with a porn star's endorsement
Abandoned daugher of a demon discovers the truth about her father and battles good and evil, but the distinction between the two isn't always clear...yawn.
If you got your start in the "arts" making adult entertainment, AND you are parlaying that name recognition into merchandising (Gene Simmons, anyone?) then a PG13 rehashing of the whole good/evil paradigm is bound to be a let down. Now Virgin Comics isn't just capitalizing on Jenna Jameson's brand name. They have John Woo, Dave Stewart (yes, the Eurythmics guy, I had to look it up too, so don't worry) and Guy Ritchie shilling for them as well.
And yes, I bought Shadow Hunter because the now porn-retired Jameson still makes my heart go pitty-patty-boom-boom whenever I see her clothed or not clothed. Anyone who has seen her E! Television special knows that she is not just a pretty face and injected mammaries. Jameson is as big a marketing genius, if not bigger than the heretofore mentioned Mr. Simmons of KISS fame.
Jameson's name and Christina Z's talent would have been better displayed by Avatar Press with their no-holds-barred approach to the comics industry.
Where Shadow Hunter may have failed, Zombie Strippers promises to succeed. This tongue-in-cheek throwback to Drive-In horrorfests has the potential to carve out Jameson's spot in B-movie heaven.
Ah...the nostalgia...the good old days of borrowing the Klown Mobile, a trunk full of fellow revellers, a stolen first kiss during the original Friday 13th...
...seeing a Jameson movie for the first time...
It's enough to make a Klown shed real Klown tears, isn't it?
Sunday, April 06, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Bloody Mary Morning
Enjoy this little ditty from the Supersuckers when you do....
Friday, March 28, 2008
Yeah, I used to be that guy
Two jobs. One for cash. One for pixelated gold and armor.
Anything can be addictive, and addictions can be work.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
1. A robot may not injure a human being or,.
through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey
orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with
the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such
protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Muffin Man
Sunday, March 23, 2008
The Guild...even if you don't WOW, still damn funny...
Start at the bottom of these episodes and work your way back to the top. If you play World of Warcraft, you will easily identify the stereotypes. If you don't play...well, then, that is just plain sad...sad, I say.
Zug zug.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Too pretty to fly? - Tampa Bays Local News
Probably has absolutely nothing to do with them getting on the plane with a completely lousy attitude and expecting more simply because they are "too pretty to fly."
I don't know the whole story. Many of the passengers on the plane don't even know the whole story. Hell, even the two of them probably don't know the whole story.
But this whole idea that they were discriminated against because they are "too pretty?"
Once again, I blame MTV and a generation of empty headed teens (and by teens I mean well into the mid to late twenties) for this complete load of crap.
Bullshit incidents like this lessen legitimate claims of prejudice. Ladies, please read your history...Rosa Parks, white/black drinking fountains, segregated lunch counters, Martin Luther King. . . and on and on and on....
Just from a quick glean of the story: you were told to wait for a drink until your row was being served...did you expect to be served first because you are "too pretty?"
Vulgarities exchanged between the guy who found himself stuck in an airplane toilet for "15 minutes." Did it occur to you that no one really wants to spend anytime in there? Did you knock once? Twice? Thrice? a little too aggressively? Do you like to be disturbed when you either can't quite pinch one off or grunt and regret your way past a poorly conceived Taco Bell meal?
Too pretty to fly?
Give too petty a shot. Or get a private jet like Paris Hilton.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Someday...even he will reproduce....
and note...so will the younger one. Yes. Reproduce. Create more of their own kind. The kind that spell onomatopoeic words wrong. Seriously...it's spelled the way it sounds. That's the whole point.
Hell...the embed, doesn't do the William Saffire butchering justice...and I am too damn drunk to figure out the damn link at the moment, so just do yourself a favor, go directly to youtube.com and search for "Bug Spalt." Either you get the video that I am talking about or Jeff Foxworthy will come clean your carpet. Either way...hilarity ensues.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Wow...that long....
Hmm...guess so.
Tuesday I get to go to the polls and cast a vote for Obama....
Perhaps, maybe? Hope?
Stay tuned.