Well, it finally happened. If it didn't happen here, it would have happened somewhere else. It has certainly happened often enough before. You see, in a previous life, same body, just previous life, I was a critic. Not a big, rotund Ebert like critic, and not a just-running-around-pointing-out stuff critic. I actually went to school to learn the "art" of criticism. More accurately, I honed my abilities to critique a work of art, place it in its cultural perspective, or merely comment on its "value." Most of what I chose to examine in this fashion fell into the literary categories of novels and short fiction. However, from time to time, a poet would come along that I was particularly interested in and I would spend time examining his or her greater works. If I was incredibly lucky, I might even get to meet this person face-to-face. James Welch, author of Winter In the Blood, comes quickly to mind. Now, the tricky part. Some daring individuals will find out that you are a professional critic, and yes, I do carry a union card. Once the greasepaint of everday existence is removed, and your secret identity exposed, they come with notebook in hand and say, "Please read my poems, and tell me what you think." Rarely, and I do mean RARELY, do they want the honest opinion. Most often they are looking for some stamp of approval to justify the paper and ink wasted on their dark meanderings through despair, loneliness, adulterous forays, and just about any other cliche laden crap they could muster. But it happens, and I accept, and I tell them, if I even remotely like the work, I will comment on it, and I will be brutally honest, I will tell you where you go astray, and I will tell you what you need to do to fix it. Like BASF, the chemical company, I don't make the products you use, I just make them better. If I don't like the work, and to be honest, I generally don't, I will merely thank the person, and leave them with the comment that the poems/short stories/novels were "nice." Suffice it to say, the Klown has been found out, and I received a "nice" collection of "poems" today.